The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
ok first of all what the fuck
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
