So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He? As in you personified your dick?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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