it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
