So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
