this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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