I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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