how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
