I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
