just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
