I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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