piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
