I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
