I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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