he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
