...so i touched it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
