I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
