is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
