YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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