i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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