If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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