Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
