I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
