Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
