I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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