the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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