Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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