I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my nose is crying tears of wow.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
