It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
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