Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
