and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm always down for nudity.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
