I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
