We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
