Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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