He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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