Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
