You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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