i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Come see our sink grown plant.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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