After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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