is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
