You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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