Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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