i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
