no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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