I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
