Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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