Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Randomize
