Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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