I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
