one two three fourrrrnication!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
