her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
