THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
