found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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